Written by Allen Kitchen march 97 all rights reserved Tales from the Screaming Flea episode 1 Every Bunny needs somebody sometime... It was nighttime in the capital city of Braven, nestled near the equator of the planet Osca. Captain Perneft glanced about nervously as he walked down the alleyway in a better-off-forgotten part of town. There were no lights. The alley was as dark as Ebonywood. This street would probably be dark even if the sun went nova, he thought to himself as he made his way further into the gloom. Captain Perneft could see everything perfectly in the darkness however. His cougar eyesight was long-since evolved for the task, so he could see each detail around him. It gave him a definite advantage in the inky blackness as he dodged the broken bottles in his way. Unfortunately for him, his eyesight was not the only keen sense he possessed. He held his nose with his left paw, and rested his hand on a holstered sidearm with his right. The alley was beyond filthy, with trashcans lining the walls, running over with foul smelling refuse. The trash appeared not to have been collected in weeks. Lying amongst the cans was an occasional ziphead, oblivious to the world while high on the electrical impulses streaming into his brain from a handheld computer. A ziphead had no concern in his mind at all, other than how to stay wired all the time. Bathing, changing clothes, finding restrooms, all these things were unimportant to zipheads. But fresh batteries, ah, now that was important. This particular street needed to be much darker, the cougar decided. But he wasn't here to sightsee. He would have probably chosen a tour of the sewers before electing to visit this area as a pleasure trip. No, he was here for a specific purpose tonight. A serious purpose. He heard a woman suddenly scream at the top of her voice from somewhere far above him. Captain Perneft quickly looked up into the rusty metal framework that held the tall brick and wooden walls apart. He saw nothing, but a sharp bang from a handgun up there brought the female's screaming to a instant halt. For several moments, there was no sound at all in the alley, save the cougar's pounding heartbeat. He decided he had better locate his missing crewmembers fast, and get the blinking flood out of this place before something decided to cut his throat! "Cheryl?" he quietly murmered into his throat microphone. "Cheryl are you certain they are in this neighborhood? I can't imagine any rabbit or fox coming here without at least two divisions of space marines to back them up." "I promise you, cap." the seductive tigress's voice on the radio replied via the implanted earpeice in the cougar's left ear. "Pachebel and Figmo are only two blocks southeast of your position. You are heading the correct way." "Yeah, I am going the correct way all right... straight into the anus of the city. I have seen cleaner streets after a heavy bombardment from orbit. Now berore I get murdered in the dark, are you absolutely positive they're over here?" "Listen lover..." the voice replied with some irritation. "I don't tell you your job. Don't you tell me how to do mine. I can make the sensors of the Screaming Flea detect a burrito fart from orbit, and calculate how many beans were in it. I think I can locate two missing crewmembers only 4 miles from the spaceport by locking onto their transmitters, thank you very much." His stomach got a little queasy at her less-than-appetizing hyperbole. That, or the odor here was getting to him. "All right darling. If you are that certain, then I will press on. But remind me to take a shower when I get back to the ship. Okay?" "Oh, you will get a reminder all right." she shot back. "Don't you worry about that. But I doubt you will get much time to relax in the shower. Our cargo isn't getting any fresher, you know. We really need to be heading out to space soon, if we expect to meet our deadline." "Yes Cheryl, I know." Captain Perneft agreed. Of all the times for Pachebel and Figmo to run off and go slumming, they had to pick now. And not even a good slum at that. Damn the both of them! He would slash their ears for this, when he got them back onboard the Screaming Flea. He did not know what the two of them were doing all the way out here, but if he missed that deadline, he would tie their tails together and dangle them both from the loading arm! But then again, the rabbit and fox would probably both enjoy that a little too much... "Are they still ignoring your transmissions?" the cougar asked. "They still haven't responded cap." Cheryl replied in his ear. "Not once. I haven't gotten a peep out of either of them." "Could someone have jumped them, and brought them out here against their will?" "Could be." the Tigress replied. "But I don't think so. They have been together the entire night, and going from place to place. I've been watching them wander around for hours. If something had attacked them, then they wouldn't be moving about so much." "True..." he grumbled quietly, then continued walking down the disgusting alleyway, pulling his brown cloak closed around him. Not that it was cold. After all, Braven was located on the equator. No, captain Perneft wanted to keep his pistol covered up, in the event thieves decided to rob him. He wanted to keep the firepower a surprise, just in case he needed it. He hoped that he would not of course, but if he did, it would be stupid of him to let any opponent know what he had ahead of time. He came out of the alley and into a crosstreet. It was an intersection, where 4 narrow roads met. It was no cleaner than the alley he had just left. But here they had some storefronts and nightclubs along the street ahead of him. They all had neon lighting, making the wet filthy garbage along the street become stomach turning shades of green and pink. A sickly odor of fried... something... wafted down the road from the various eateries lining the street. Captain Perneft suddenly found his appetite gone. He continued walking, heading southeast down the street, avoiding various junk and debris as he went. He walked until the voice in his ear chimed again. "There! They are exactly to your right, cap. Whatever building you see to the right of you, that is where you will find Pachebel and Figmo." He looked over his shoulder at the delapitated old storefront. It appeared to be a bar. The "Pierced Porcipine", according to the flashing blue sign above the door. And like most bars around this area, the upstairs was a lowrate hotel, with rooms that were rentable by the hour for the lowrate whores inside the club. "They are inside some place called the Pierced Porcipine." he grumbled cautiously into his mike. "That is, if your sensor readings are still correct." "Don't you start with me again," she growled back at him, "or you can fly the captain's mast all by yourself tonight." "But it just doesn't make sense Cheryl. Why in Mer's green seas would they come out all this way just to get drunk? There are plenty of clubs closer, and safer, than this one." "Maybe they didn't come for a drink." Cheryl's voice snickered at him. "Maybe Pachebel talked Figmo into doing something a little bit kinky tonight. After all, it would not be the first time, would it? And you did tell them never to try that onboard your ship again." "I have my limits Cheryl." he complained. "Look, kinky sex is one thing. But farm animals are quite another. And I have enough trouble with the authorities without those two getting me nailed on Cruelty charges onboard my own damned starship! But can they find anything that perverted over here? We are still inside the city limits." "Oh, you might be surprised at what you can find in THAT neighborhood." she teased. Captain Perneft snorted. "I have half a mind to find out just how you know that." he said to her. "But right now, all I want to do is grab these two, and get the hell out of here! Can you call a cab and have it swing by here to pick us up ten minutes from now?" "No prrrrroblem cap." she replied, deliberately drawing out the r sound into a purr. She did that whenever she was feeling amourous. "And as long as you are out there lover, do you think you can find some scented rubbing oil? Preferably firespice?" He frowned. "We are kinda in a hurry Cheryl. Can't that wait?" His ear was then filled with a low rumbling sound. The soft roar went on for several moments. He smiled at the noise. It was a very impressive purr, even for Cheryl. The tigress must have leaned forward, and pressed the microphone down into her dress to get the purr to come in that loud over the radio. He hoped the microphone didn't get stuck there. Then again, it could be a lot of fun removing it for her... "Cheryl wants some oils rubbed into her fur..." she whined. "Heh heh. No prrrrrrrroblem stripes." he replied, chuckling a bit. There would be no solo watch around the captain's mast tonight, he thought to himself. The excitement must really be turning her on. Hopefully she would wait until they were underway before starting anything with him. They didn't have time to do anything until then. The Screaming Flea was already way behind schedule, thanks to Pachebel and Figmo. They really needed to get into space, and fast. Otherwise they could kiss their shipping contract goodbye. He turned in the street, and walked deliberately up to the door of the club. The doorway was not automatic, which really didn't surprise him much. Not in this neighborhood anyway. He had to manually turn the knob and push the door open by hand. The knob was rusty, but then again, the paint on the door was flaking, so it was a good match. He pushed the door open, and stepped inside. He blinked as he entered, temporarily blinded by the brightness. It was pretty dim actually, but compared to the darkness outside, the inside was a firestorm of light. Besides, his sensitive eyes had been working overtime to pierce through the veil of blackness in the alley. They would need a couple of seconds to readjust to the light. "Cheryl, am I in the correct building?" "Yes, you are. You are practically on top of them, in fact." "Huh. I'd like to think I have better taste in partners than that." he joked. He heard her purr into the microphone again, this time even louder. He was tempted to simply turn around and head back to the ship. He was behind schedule, and a seductive tigress was waiting for him back there. Yet here he was, out rabbit hunting. He shook his head. Life just wasn't fair. It would serve Pach and Fig right if he left them behind, he thought. Let them fend for themselves, and try to hitchhike their way offworld again. But finally, he decided he might as well pick them up too. After all, he had come this far... no point in wasting the trip. Captain Perneft looked around inside the club as his vision adjusted. At the counter, he saw 4 leopards rushing back and forth filling drinks for their clientele. All of the 20 or so tables inside were occupied, as were the stools around the bar. There were some drunken wolverines, sitting around a table, singing some unknown song together offkey. They were trying to drown out the musician sitting on top of the dais, playing some oddlooking stringed instrument. Apparently they did not care for the song the wolf was playing. For his own part, the house musician looked annoyed, but kept on playing anyway. He had a pretty good voice for a wolf too. Several gamblers were huddled over at one table, smoking and concentrating on their card game. They were playing Centaur Poker, he decided from the appearance of their cards. He could almost bet that one or more of the players had an Aspect of Wolf card tucked up their sleeves. If the cheat got caught in the act, it was certain a fight would break out. The entire bar smelled of smoke, sweat, some odors he would really rather not identify, and alcoholic drinks of every sort. It was your typical gutter-dive bar, he decided. Neither friendly nor hostile, as long as you had money in your pocket to buy drinks. And way off in the back, was a single white rabbit, slouched over a table all by himself. He was wearing a red jumpsuit marked with the insignia from the Screaming Flea prominantly displayed on the shoulder. His floppy white ears were laying on the table in front of him, covering the drink in his hands. The cougar stared at the bunny from across the crowded room. "I found Pachebel." he said to Cheryl over the noise in the bar. "But I don't see Figmo anyplace." "Maybe she went to the little vixen's room." Cheryl pointed out. Captain Perneft walked further into the bar, making his way towards the morose rabbit. As he walked by the stage, he dropped a small bill into the tip jar. He always paid musicians for their labors, no matter how poor the performance. The wolf continued to sing, but flashed a smile of thanks at the cougar as he did so. He reached Pachebel, and stood erect beside him. The rabbit stared down at the table and did not notice. "The next time you and Figmo want to take off on a little vacation," Perneft growled. "Do you think you could tell somebody first?" The drunken rabbit lifted his head up, weaving and bobbing from the effects of his long night of drinking. "Hhhey, its th' capn." he said, his voice sleepy and woozy. He hiccuped. "Yeah, that's right. The guy that signs your paycheck. Figmo's too. And I don't pay either of you to vanish into the night for a good time when we have a shipment to make." Pachebel lifted an arm, and pulled his right ear out of his face. "Soooo." he breathed. "doesth it look like I am having a good time to you?" He then hiccuped again. The rabbit looked miserable. The cougar held his nose again. "It looks more like you are blitzed to me. And could you turn your head a bit please? Your breath could kill a Lemozian Tubesnake." The rabbit hiccuped again, knocking his ear over his face once more. "Tubessssnake got no nose capten... Caint ssssmell nuthin." "I should be so lucky." the captain growled, pulling out a chair on the other side of the table and sitting down. "Now, just what the hell are you and Figmo doing out here? You know we have a run to make. If you two just had to jump into the sack, you could have waited until we were on course then used your cabin. I don't give a damn what you two do in your quarters, as long as you do your jobs." "...and leave the cows in the barn." Cheryl teased, overhearing the conversation via his throat mike. Captain Perneft ignored her. Pachebel pulled his ear to the side again. "Figmo ain't here capn. She ain't never been here." "Bullshit!" Perneft growled, deeper this time. "Cheryl has been tracking both of your transmitters. Figmo is in this building somewhere, possibly hiding, probably asleep in a bed upstairs." "Capn, if shhhhe were upsthairs inna bed, do you really think I'd be down 'ere getting plasthered?" The cougar thought about that for a moment, then shook his head. Pachebel would hump any female from any species that wouldn't shoot him with a sidearm first. No, he thought. If Figmo were upstairs, then he would be upstairs too. "Hmmm. I guess not, Pach. So where is she, and what are you doing here?" he asked. In response Pachebel slowly put his hand into his pocket and took out a piece of jewelry. It was a small black neckchoker, the kind that vixens all think look so sexy. And on the choker was a small golden disk. Perneft recognized the disk as Figmo's throat microphone, much like his own, but set into a decorative setting. Perneft narrowed his eyes a bit. "I don't get it." he grumbled. "What are you doing with her transmitter? And where is she now?" The rabbit reached into his other pocket with his other hand, and this time pulled out an earpeice. It was a reciever, built for foxes, according to the shape of it. "Da... Damned iff I know." he stuttered. "She got all pisssy at me earlier thith week. Said that I wasss a lousthy lover, and that she could do better." Perneft looked perplexed. "You? A terrible lover? I find that hard to believe." "So did I." Pachebel nodded, dropping both pieces on the table. "I didn take her serious 'nuff. I told her to pull out da whips, and den I would shhhow her wrong. She told me to... well. Anyway, yestherday while we was loading the ship, she lefth me a letter, and these, and then vanisth. She told me where you could deposit her lasth paycheck too, if you care." "Somehow, I don't think I want to know where she told me to put the paycheck." the cougar replied. "Captain, if he is carrying Figmo's transmitter and reciever, then there's no way at all for me to track her." Cheryl pointed out. "Other than calling the police and charging her with some sort of crime, we will never find her now. And we don't have the time for that either." The cougar cleared his throat once, using the old spacer code to signal that he understood, but could not reply directly. "She'sh left me. She left me here, all 'lone." the rabbit cried. "When I found out that she had gone, I came out here trying to find her. Trying to get word to her somehow that I was shorry, and wanted her to come back. I looked 'round, showed her picture over and over to ffolks, asking if anybody seen her." "I take it you didn't find her." Pachebel slowly shook his head, causing both of his ears to cover his face again. "No. I don't know where she isth. She gone for good, I thhhink. Sso, I stharted drinking. Pretty soon, I will be pissth drunk, an I dont care." "Well, I can't help you with your lovelife." the cougar commented. "But you could have answered our pages Pach. We have been trying to reach you for hours." "Turned th' damn ting off. Didn wanna talk 'bout it." "Well, you damn sure could have told me that you and Figmo weren't coming back to the ship!" he roared. Several of the patrons at the nearer tables turned to look at him. "I have a cargo hold full of Braka melons that should have left hours ago! And instead of warping out of here to earn a living, I had to come and hunt for your sorry ass!" Pachebel raised one ear, trying to make it stand up straight. It wobbled weakly, trying to stay erect. "Your mad at me." he said, adding a hiccup at the end. "You're damned right I am mad at you!" the cougar shot back, even louder than before. "I have every reason to be mad at you! We should have been in space 12 hours ago! Do you know what a rotten Bracka melon smells like? Huh? Do you have any idea how much money I will lose if we don't get them to Melba station on time? I should have just left your butt here!" Pachebel slumped forwarded, banging his head on the table. He laid there, unmoving and silent for a moment. His ears were spread comically over the table. "I wish you had." he finally said. "Don't give me that crap. You're damn lucky I found you. Otherwise you'd be dead before dawn." "Yep." Perneft looked at the pitiful bunny with disgust. "Just look at you. You can't even hold your ears up, much less a pistol. How would you defend yourself?" "Wouldn't try." Perneft paused. There was something in the rabbit's voice that raised a caution flag in the back of his mind. "What do you mean, you wouldn't try?" "I mean I don care if sumptin kills me t'nite..." the drunken voice muttered. "Don't matter none t' me. Not widdout her." Captain Perneft tried to calm himself down. His crewmember was in pretty bad shape, and now was not the time for disciplining him. And the rabbit truly could not defend himself right now. Not a chance. If he left Pachebel alone here tonight, the bunny was as good as dead, no two ways about it. No, he would have to get the rabbit safely back to the Screaming Flea, and settle matters in the morning. Pachebel would probably have a nova of a headache by then. All the better, since the rabbit's discipline would involve a fair bit of shouting. "Okay then, Pachebel." the captain calmly said, standing again. "Let's get you back to the ship, and we will deal with it all later, okay?" The rabbit shook his head as it lay on the table. "Not going nowhere. Wanna die right here." The cougar walked around the table, and lifted up on Pachebel by his right shoulder. The rabbit came partially away from the table. "Are you telling me the stud who laid the Ferret triplets not once but twice, gives a damn what one vixen thinks about him?" he said as he pulled the rabbit half out of his chair. Pachebel turned his head, and glared up at Perneft with a sudden fire. "I love her, dammit!" "What?" the cougar shouted out. In his surprise, he let go of Pachebel, and the rabbit fell back onto the table with a thud. He groaned in pain as his head once more lay on the wooden surface next to his drink. Perneft had never once heard Pachebel use the word 'love' when talking about any female. The rabbit imagined himself to be one of the galaxy's greatest lovers. And his little black book gave some weight to that claim. All 9 volumes of it. He had one of the most active libido's Perneft had ever seen, rabbit or no rabbit. Pachebel claiming to be in love was real news. The cougar started lifting Pachebel away from the table again, apologizing for dropping him. "Sorry about that. But what did you expect? You? In love?" "Thass right capn." the rabbit muttered. "With a fox?" Pachebel nodded, his ears flopping about loosely as the cougar dragged him out of his chair. "The crewman who spent an entire evening inside the satellite dish with a lady otter, is in love with a vixen that could kill him in the throes of passion?" The rabbit nodded again as he staggered to his feet. "Hey, nobuty said love was easy." "You know, we still haven't gotten that dish back into proper shape." the cougar added, grinning. "Aww. We wasn't that violent, except for the firsth time." Perneft cocked an eyebrow at his crewmember, and scowled. "You mean you have done that more than once?" Pachebel put a paw over his mouth. "Oops." he said. The cougar rolled his eyes, and pulled the rabbit toward the door. "Well, what's done is done. And I think you're done drinking for the night. Come on, Don Guano. Let's get you back to your bed." Pachebel began shaking his head violently. "No! No, don't wanna go back to th' ship. Too many memories of her in there!" "Too bad." the cougar growled. "You are coming with me. I can't just leave you here. I need you to help offload the cargo later on. After a good night's sleep, you will feel better. I promise." "Don't wanna feel better." the rabbit howled. "Wanna die here. Maybe shhhe hear about it and feel pretty bad, you think?" "I think you need to calm down, and shut up." the cougar said, noticing one of the patrons sitting at the bar watching them pretty closely. A small black bear, and wearing a red rope around his right shoulder. That meant he was trained in the martial arts, and a trained killer to boot. Not good, the cougar thought. If that bear decided that the they were easy targets for a robbery, there could be some real trouble tonight. The bear took one last swig from his drink, and stood up off his bar stool. Captain Perneft pulled his cloak open with his right hand, and let it fall open, exposing the handgun. He then glared at the bear from across the room, making it clear that he could and would defend himself. The bear stopped and stared at him for a moment. For several uncomfortable seconds, the two locked gazes over the heads of the other customers sitting at their tables. Then, deciding that the pair wasn't as easy a mark as he first thought, the bear sat back down on his stool again and ordered another drink. That was close, Perneft thought. "Just limmee alone capn." the rabbit muttered. "Lemme die here, 'kay?" He then began to sit down in the middle of the floor. Captain Perneft grabbed the bunny beneath the shoulders, hefted some of the weight, and began to body drag the rodent across the bar floor. "You know, I am beginning to think that you are more trouble than you're worth." the cougar snarled as he half drug the rabbit toward the door. Several of the other patrons in the bar were pointing at the sight, and laughing a bit. One thing no feline could stand was being laughed at. Especially while he was trying to do the honorable thing. The captain could feel the back of his neck getting hot with anger. "So don't worry bout it none. Jes leave me behind." "Don't tempt me." Perneft grumbled. He stopped dragging Pachebel by the shoulders, and looked down sternly at the drunken rabbit. "But I'll tell you what Pach. I'll make you a deal. You really want to die? You want an end to the pain? Well, I can help you." The rabbit looked up slowly. "Wadaya mean?" he asked. "I mean, if you will come outside with me now, then I will kill you myself. Quickly and painlessly. You will not suffer a bit. You say you can't live without her, right?" Pachebel nodded. "Well, I have had it up to my eartips with you." the captain growled at him. "If you aren't getting the law after me, then you are busy wrecking my ship. So if you want to die that bad, then at least allow me the chance to even the score with you, and shoot you myself!" The rabbit stood up on his own, wobbling a bit. "Do you mean it capn? You'd do thhhat for me?" The cougar stared at him and nodded. "If you will just step outside, where there aren't any witnesses, I'll shoot a hole in you so big you could drive a starship through it!" Pachebel just stood there, leaning one way, then another. His booze-fuddled mind was milling the thought over and over again. "Well, come on Pachebel!" the cougar angrily prodded him. "This is what you want, isn't it?" Pachebel nodded again, and began weaving his way toward the door. "You aren't serious, are you Captain?" Cheryl's voice worriedly asked in his ear. "You aren't really going to kill him?" The cougar cleared his throat twice in rapid succession, which was the spacer code for silence, used to tell someone to cease transmitting without speaking directly to them. Cheryl was instantly quiet. He knew she wanted to intervene, but there was no time, and he needed to concentrate on what he was doing. And he knew that Cheryl would never violate the Code for anything short of an absolute emergency. She would be quiet until he told her it was safe to talk again. He followed the wobbling rabbit out the door of the bar, and out into the street again. As they stepped out the door, the captain closed the door again as Pachebel leaned against the wall. The blinking blue neon lit the scene well enough that Pachebel and Perneft could both see. The cougar looked both ways on the street, then scanned the windows around him. He did not see or hear anyone else on the street. They were alone. Pachebel started to cry. "You stupid bitch." he wept. "I treated you like a queen, I did. I didn't cheat on you once while we were datin..." "Satellite dish?" the captain growled, stepping in front of Pachebel once more. The rabbit hung his head again, his ears once more flopping into his face. "Okay, so I ain't no saint." "You got that part right, at least." The cougar drew his sidearm, a wicked looking piece of silicon carbide with a snub barrel. It was only good for short-range shots, loosing accuracy with any appreciable distance. But whatever he shot with it, he obliterated. Pachebel looked up at the gun now only a few feet away from him. "I had a gun like that once... Pachebel's cannon I called it." he remarked. "I just like the way it sounds." Perneft flatly remarked. "And the large holes it makes too." The noisy end of the weapon then spun to point at the drunken rabbit leaning against the wall. Pachebel nodded. "This'll teach that damn vickson to run out on me. I hope they charge her wit my death, th' damn fox." Captain Perneft scowled. "They just may at that. But you are paying a terrible price to get back at her, Pach. A terrible, steep price." "I miss 'er so much... I can't go on, feeling like this. I love 'er, and I hate 'er at th' same time. I just cain't deal wit it anymore, capn. Please, make th' pain go way." "I still say you should think about it first." the cougar grumbled, pulling back the hammer of the pistol. "This is permanent, you know. Dead is dead. And nothing will bring you back again." "Don't wanna live without her..." the rabbit muttered. "Well, think of all the sex you are going to miss out on then." Perneft continued, trying a different tactic. "There are plenty more females in the galaxy, Pachebel. And in all your travels, you can't have had more than a quarter of them so far." Pachebel's tears were bright blue streaks under the neon sign. "No woman could ever be as good as shhee wasth. No one. Once you've had th' best, where else is der to go but downhill?" Perneft nodded. "So your certain you want to die here, now?" he asked, hoping Pachebel would change his mind and say no. But the rabbit didn't change his mind. Pachebel nodded back to him, and put his right hand out to hold the barrel to his chest. There was a slight pause, only a heartbeat long, as the two stood there in the blue light, watching each other. The cougar then pulled the trigger on the awful weapon. There was a deafening explosion and a burst of light as the gun fired. Pachebel's hand was flung away from the barrel, and his body was pressed against the wall from the force of the shot. The blast echoed off the walls in the street for what seemed like an eternity. Pachebel stood there a moment, arms spread apart, flat against the wall. He did not make a single sound, but his face appeared to be surprised and shocked. Then slowly, he hunched over, and fell face first into the slime-filled gutter. Fetid water splashed onto Perneft's pants legs as the rabbit's body crashed into the sewage. Captain Perneft remained motionless, his smoking gun still drawn, but not aiming at anything. He stood and looked at his crewmember laying face down in the water for several moments. Finally he sighed, and hooked his right foot under Pachebels body. Then he kicked his leg up, flipping Pachebel over onto his back in the muck. Pachebel just laid there in the sludge, motionless except for the gunsmoke trailing off from his coveralls. His eyes and mouth were closed, and his hands were limp and open. "Does it hurt Pach?" Captain Perneft asked. The alley stayed silent. The cougar stood over the prone rabbit, is if expecting an answer from him. Then he got one. "Not really." Pachebel slowly muttered. "So what was dying like?" the cougar said. "How did it feel to shake the grim reapers paw?" The rabbit wearily sat up again, dripping crud from his headfur as he rose. His wet ears were stuck flat against the back of his head. "It was... scary." the rabbit slowly said. He examined his chest, expecting to find a hole in it. A big hole. Instead, he found powderburns on his coveralls, but nothing more. Even the fanciest gun couldn't kill somebody without making a hole somewhere, he thought. He looked up at the cougar. "I am not dead, capn. Why not?" Captain Perneft grinned at his crewmember. "I always load the gun with one blank round first. It comes in handy, scaring off pickpockets or drunks. Just fire a shot right at your attackers, and they piss their pants running from you. Been doing it for years." Then Captain Perneft knelt down beside Pachebel, and looked concernedly at him. "But the rest of the rounds are very real, Pach. And they do kill. So, now that you have had a chance to preview what dying is like, I will ask you one more time. Do you still want to throw your life away over some piece of tail? Do you still want to die?" Pachebel slowly shook his head. Very slowly. "No." he said as the tears came to his eyes again. "I didn' like it a bit. All I could think about after you shhot me, was what a stupid idiot I wath. I wanted a segund chance..." "Well, now you've got one." the cougar said, his voice heavy with relief. He stood up and holstered his gun again. "Don't piss it away. I know her leaving you is painful. But throwing away everything that will happen to you in the future is far worse. It just isn't worth it Pach. Life only comes in a single-serve size, you know." He then held out a paw to help Pachebel up. The rabbit reached up and gratefully took it. Wobbling, the rabbit said to him "I owe you my life, captain." Captain Perneft smiled at him. Then the lights from a taxi cab turned the corner, and shone on them as it pulled into the street. "We will worry about all that later." he said, flagging the taxi with one arm. "Right now, you and I need to get back to the Screaming Flea. Everyone is waiting on you." "And Figmo..." the rabbit added. Perneft shook his head as the cab pulled closer. "I don't have any crewmember named Figmo anymore. I used to have one, but she quit just recently." Pachebel smiled. "And what about her last paycheck?" The cougar grinned widely, showing off his sharp teeth as the cab stopped in front of them. "After I fine her for delaying the ship like this, and for breaking her contract, she will owe me money. Not the other way around. Screw her last check. She wanted to walk, she walked." The Captain opened the door at the back of the cab, and motioned Pachebel to get in. The rabbit nodded to him, and got inside. The cougar followed him in, and closed the door. Captain Perneft then paid the driver in advance, and told him to drive to the starport as fast as he legally could. "I really do owe you my life Capn." Pachebel murmered. "I don't know how I am going to repay you." The cougar took a deep breath, then realized the stench around him and immediately regretted it. "Well, for starters," he said between gags. "You can get those butt-shaped dents out of my satellite antenna."