Subject: Re: SNEETCHES!!
Date: Sun, 27 Dec 1998 21:26:47 -0600
From: Allen Kitchen <allenk@blkbox.com>
Organization: The Black Box Internet Access Houston TX 713-638-9983/409-638-1000
To: elynne@concentric.net
Newsgroups: alt.fan.furry

ELynne wrote:
>
> Pointless, incomprehsensible semi-rant: ON
>
> You're all a bunch of SNEETCHES!  Some of ya say that you've got stars and
> you're proud of 'em, and others say you don't have stars and you're proud
> of that, and some of ya won't say if you've got stars or not, and
> everybody's worried about which sneetches have stars upon thars and which
> don't, and I just don't give a damn anymore, Scarlet.

        Why, ELynne, you seem a bit upset.
        You've turned your back and gone and let
        these people's worrys get you down.
        Well, I'm here to take away that frown.

        I'm the world famous and renowned McBean.
        And this movement is only the latest I've seen.
        In the name of saving this, their town,
        some see perfect sense in burning it all down!

        Now, I don't mean to snoop or to pry.
        In fact, I was only just passing by
        when I saw the lady's post go past.
        And I thought I'd help settle things at last...

        You see, I'm an inventor of sorts.
        I've machines to remove or insert warts;
        Devices to make one thick, or thin;
        To make your innie out, or your outty in.

        So just for the rest of this year, dear friends,
        I'll make available a way to make amends.
        I call it my McBean McNoMistake McCashCow,
        and it removes Lables quick as can be.  How?

        Just pay your 5 bucks friends, and step on in.
        You'll be in a dark tunnel.  Just wait and grin.
        In a moment, you'll start to see a light,
        and realize that everyone thinks that they are right.

        You'll come out smarter; a nobler fur,
        no longer interested in what makes others purr.
        You'll also worry less about what others about you think.
        Peace and goodwill follow as quick as a wink!

        So come on in folks, and have your cash in hand!
        (Time is money... Ain't life just grand?)
        Pay your 5 dollars, and leave your lables behind.
        What do I do with them?  Your own business, please mind...

Allen Kitchen (with apologies to the late Dr. Suess)
http://www.blkbox.com/~osprey/