"And now, ladies and gentlemen of all species!  The Velveeta 
room is proud to present, showing for this one night only, the master 
of the unknown.  The lord of mystery.  That great swami of the 
impossible.  Mystico, the sorcerer!"
	The crowd in the room let out a gentle, polite applause as the 6 
foot rabbit came out on stage from behind the curtain.  Mystico had 
on an old black cape with a red lining.  Very cliche.  The props looked 
worn, and the lighting was terrible.
	Swifty the weasel, the rabbit's manager, sat in the audience 
tonight in order to study the performance.  The rabbit seemed to be 
slipping lately.  The magician wasn't getting as many gigs as he used 
to.  Swifty was bluntly told by one client of his never to let the rabbit 
anywhere near his bar again, not even as a customer.  He was trying 
to decide whether or not to drop the rabbit.
	It was a typical midnight crowd in the Velveeta room.  A few 
drunken businessmen in the back trying not to look like drunken 
businessmen, some old tourists, and a couple of college professors 
from the university down the street.  Standard comedy club fare.  
The room was dark, and stank of old booze and cigarette smoke.  The 
audience didn't smell much better.
	All of them came to hear the cutting edge comedy that the 
Velveeta room was famous for.  Instead, tonight, they had Mystico 
the magician.
	The first trick, the magic rings, garnered only a smattering of 
applause.  The audience seemed more engrossed in ordering drinks.  
A pair of magpies off in the corner kept pointing to Mystico, and 
laughing amongst themselves.  Oh great, Swifty thought to himself.  
Just what this crowd needed, hecklers.
	The next trick, the floating wineglass, got even less applause 
than the trick before.  An older buzzard in the middle of the 
audience pointed at his wife, and yelled at Mystico to see if he could 
make her disappear.  His wife started a noisy argument right there at 
the table.  The bouncer should have thrown the pair outside, but half 
the audience was watching the buzzards now instead of the magician.  
You didn't throw out your entertainment.
	Mystico looked unhappy, but kept going on with the show.  
Next he performed the floating card trick.  Or he tried to.  
Unfortunately, Mystico was holding the deck upside down, and all 
the cards fell to the floor.  He bent over and started to pick them up 
as the audience complained loudly.  The magpies in the corner began 
to mercilessly boo the rabbit.  One drunken fox angrily suggested 
that the rabbit disappear into his hat.  
	Mystico stopped gathering the cards, and set them down on the 
table with a sigh.  He refused to give up, and pulled out the 
disappearing milk trick.  Almost half the audience booed and 
groaned now, irritatedly fuming that these were childrens tricks.  
They complained that they had spent good money, and wanted some 
more adult fare, like pulling a naked vixen out of a box.
	Mystico snapped.  He threw his wand into the audience, loudly 
proclaiming that if he could pull a naked vixen out of a box, he could 
think of better things to do than stand in front of a group of loud-
mouthed good-for-nothings like them.  One badger in the front row 
yelled that there was nothing Mystico could do with the milk that he 
had not seen a hundred times since childhood.
	Mystico poured the milk on the badger, and angrily suggested 
that the he and the milk vanish.  That was new, at least.
	The furious badger threw his beer bottle at Mystico, and yelled 
for the manager.  The entire audience was mad now, and began 
throwing food and bottles at the rabbit, loudly booing him all the 
while.  The drunken businessmen in the back ended up hitting more 
of the audience than the stage with their poorly aimed pretzels.  It 
did nothing to improve the mood.
	The stage lights went off, and the room lights came on with a 
snap.  Mystico grabbed the cards from the table and started throwing 
them at the people in the front row.  He was screaming 'was this 
your card sir!  was this your card sir!' as he flipped them into 
peoples faces.
	The front row got up as one, and rushed the stage.  The rest of 
the audience wasn't far behind.  Mystico grabbed the table and held 
it high above his head!
	Swifty picked up his hat, and decided that it was a good time to 
leave.  He would notify Mystico that he was no longer his agent in 
the morning.  Assuming of course, that there still was a Mystico in 
the morning.   As he walked out the doors of the club into the cold 
night air, he pulled his coat collar closed.  A performer should always 
know his audience, he reminded himself.  Yes sir.  Silly rabbit, tricks 
are for kids.